About

Ray Carroll is a former Southern Baptist pastor who fell from grace by committing adultery. He has been blogging for five years and is now one of the leaders in helping fallen pastors.

The purpose of fallenpastor.com is to help fallen pastors, their churches, and anyone caught up in the wake of the sin of pastoral adultery.

If you are a fallen pastor, or considering adultery, this website is for you. If you are a church that has been affected by a fallen pastor, you will also find this site useful. If you are a woman who is with a pastor or has been in a destructive relationship, contact me or Ray’s wife through her blog. Feel free to contact Ray through the contact page. All information is kept private and confidential.

Ray contributed an essay to “The Practice of Love: Real Stories of Living Into the Kingdom of God,” under his pseudonym Arthur Dimmesdale. His is also author of, “Fallen Pastor: Finding Restoration in a Broken World.”

Ray currently works as a sports medicine professional at Muhlenberg County High School in Greenville, Kentucky. He has two beautiful daughters and one amazing step-daughter.

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23 thoughts on “About

  1. John Bartik

    I think this is a good response to gain some redemption from your actions. I don’t mean from God, you need forgiveness from him. I think there is something really Biblical about seeking to make good from evil. I’ve only read one post but I found your honesty and humility refreshing.

    Reply
  2. Brian Irwin

    Ray,

    I’m not sure how I stumbled into your site, but I am quite moved by what I found. You were always a remarkable person. While I am not a Christian by most definitions, even my own most days, I am a believer in honesty, forgiveness and reconciliation.

    I didn’t know that you’ve lost both your parents. My heart goes out to you. I loved the email from your dad, and I am so happy for you that you got to see that. .

    I wish you and Allison all the best.

    your friend,

    Brian

    Reply
    1. fallenpastor Post author

      Thanks, Brian. That means a lot to me. Tha ks for stopping by and reading. I’ve learned a lot in the past few years and it’s been humbling. Hope you’re doing well. Look me up on Facebook sometime.

      Ray

      Reply
  3. savedbygrace

    Grace and Peace

    I have some things for you. not from me.

    How can a person fall from Grace when this person were under the Law all along?
    A person breaks the 7th because this person were bound by the Law.

    Clearly the person was not under Grace, but the Law

    For the law always brings punishment on those who try to obey it.
    (The only way to avoid breaking the law is to have no law to break!)
    – Romans 4:15 (NLT)

    When a person falls from Grace, it means the person were under Grace
    A person falls from Grace when the person goes back to the Law

    Jesus said, lustful thoughts is adultery. hatred towards a brother is murder.
    – of which I believe pastors have done.
    – we break the entire Law if we missed one – James said we are guilty of all

    woe to those who condemn others by the Law, for the same manner they are condemn,

    ——————————————————————————————————–

    Preaching morality, do’s and don’ts
    – the church is supposedly the place to unveil Jesus
    – not do’s and don’ts but rather “what Jesus has done for you at the cross”

    Preaching against sin does not set us free from sin.
    – it produces condemnation instead.
    – people will find fault in others
    – rather, believers should be reminded they are righteous before God.

    Preaching the Law to Christians in the church does not make one righteous

    “I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness is by law, then Christ has died for nothing.”
    – Galatians 2:21

    ——————————————————————————————————–

    But for you, my friend, who are in Christ. You are not condemn.

    “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus
    because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the
    law of sin and death.”
    – Romans 8:1-2

    You are righteous before God. don’t care about what man says to you, because they are looking outwardly.

    Look unto Jesus, look unto the cross. Jesus is your righteousness, your perfection.

    Be Jesus conscious, Be righteousness conscious.
    and NOT sin conscious.

    grace and peace

    Reply
  4. John Wilbanks

    Thank you so much for this article Ray. I have been facing the same depression for the past two weeks. I have also said the same things about myself. But once I begin to help others it seems to go away. I truly thank God I found you online. I am so glad I can now call you a friend and brother in Christ. Blessings John Wilbanks – p.s. there is alot of work to be done with fallen pastors. Why don’t we put a retreat together for hurting pastors.

    Reply
  5. ismelltherain

    I appreciate what you have done to “clean” the dirty areas of your life. I too have had things in my life that needed cleaning. I am addicted to opiates. I sought God many, many times to “deliver” me from drug use. I was even “saved” and baptized into the Holy Spirit. I believed all the NA/AA type messages of I am weak and powerless under the desires of my flesh. Honestly pastor, it wasn’t until I started to believe “my” message that I was truly delivered. I am almost completely drug free now, and do you know why? Because “I” started believing in myself.

    “I” took responsibility for my own actions. I know that “I” will deal with the consequences if I fail. You see, I no longer believe that I am weak. I am powerful! I am human, and I will listen to no message ever again that tells me differently. As I said, I had been “saved” and attributed everything to God, and always fell. I believe in myself now. Furthermore, if there is a God, I can’t imagine he’d want me any other way because as the church would say-“He made me”.

    I am now getting everything out of life I never did in the past. I appreciate life in ways I never did before, and I have a love for others in ways I never did before, because I am comfortable with “me” now. When I say I have a love for others, what I mean is that if you want to believe, and that’s what gives you the most out of life, you believe it with everything you are! This is a realization I came to on my own, and I finally love myself instead of kicking myself to death. I cannot imagine living any other way, nor can I imagine a God that created me would want it any other way. Acceptance is what it comes down to for me-not tolerance. When you truly accept others for what they are, you are free. All in my opinion of course.

    Reply
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  18. Wisdom gained

    Message Sent (go back)

    Name: Wisdom gained
    Email: krung43147@yahoo.com
    Comment: I would like to look into pursuing legal reform in my state to prevent and hold pastors as accountable as licensed therapists, doctors, nurses, etc when helping vulnerable people. If I as a nurse am feeling unappreciated, my marriage is unfulfilling and I am stressed by my profession…..I get no apology ” free pass ” if in weakness I lure and cross a fiduciary line with an emotionally vulnerable patient or a spouse of a patient in my care. I think God alone isn’t enough to stop pastors. The wreckage they leave is nearly 100 fold the wreckage of another professional in terms of numbers and the type of pain. Does anyone have any suggestions as to where I could start to begin a legal reform? Should I contact a state representative, is there a legal branch that wouid be more specific? Just wondered it you had any ideas.

    Reply
  19. Darlene Burney

    This is something the Lord has laid on my and my husband’s heart! We want to start a retreat center for those Pastors that have fallen or who are ready to give up. We even have blueprints made and want to call it Shepherds Rest. We want to help those ministers.

    Reply
    1. fallenpastor Post author

      I know a couple involved in this sort of ministry. Send me a message on my contact page and I will put you in contact with them.

      Reply

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