Category Archives: adultery

“Can You Tell Me How To Commit Adultery?”

I love my ministry to fallen pastors. Not a week goes by that I don’t get an email from a man who has fallen and needs help. Whether it’s a man who has fallen from ministry, a church whose pastor who has fallen, the other woman, or a wife whose husband has fallen. I put everything I have into helping… Read more »

Stetzer’s Dangerous “400 Pastors Will Fall” Prediction

A few days ago, Dr. Ed Stetzer made a bold prediction regarding the Ashley Madison hack and church leaders on his blog at Christianity Today: “Based on my conversations with leaders from several denominations in the U.S. and Canada, I estimate that at least 400 church leaders (pastors, elders, staff, deacons, etc.) will be resigning Sunday.” Since that time, his… Read more »

For Pastors on the Ashley Madison List

by Ray Carroll, with Roy Yanke from A few days ago I wrote a blog entitled, “My Pastor Was On The Ashley Madison List.” In it, I encouraged churches on how to handle the situation if they discovered their pastor was on the hacked website. Since that time, I’ve received several emails from pastors who are on that list…. Read more »

My Pastor Was On The Ashley Madison List

A few days ago, the list of people whose names were exposed as part of the hacking of the Ashley Madison site were released. Those names are now searchable on some websites and to those with a little computer savvy. It is easy to assume that a few heads will roll in the next few days. Probably not too many high-profile… Read more »

3 Common Questions About Fallen Pastors

I love helping (and am always more than happy to help) anyone who contacts me through this ministry, but I am closest to the messed up, confused world of the freshly fallen pastor. And it is a horrible place to be. I tell fallen pastors, “No one really understands fallen ministers like a fellow fallen minister.” One of the most… Read more »

Why Did Tullian Tchividjian Fall?

In the past five years I’ve been doing this ministry and helping fallen pastors and those hurt by their fall, the most common question I hear is, “Why did they do it?” This past Sunday, Pastor Tullian Tchividjian, grandson of Billy Graham, announced to his church, Coral Ridge Presbyterian, that he had been engaged in an “inappropriate relationship.” News spread… Read more »

The 3 Most Common Responses to Pastoral Adultery

In the past few years, I have seen churches respond in almost identical ways to pastoral adultery. Regardless of ethnic or denomination background, people are just people. When a pastor sins and betrays a congregation, their response typically falls into one of three categories. (This is assuming the pastor doesn’t leave on his own or follow his sin elsewhere.) First,… Read more »

Can Facebook Ruin Your Marriage?

A couple of headlines caught my eye recently regarding Facebook and its role in the destruction of marriage. The first was an article by Samantha Yule in The Mirror: “Facebook now crops up in a third of divorce cases over cheating and old flames.” Yule reports that many married people get in touch with old flames through Facebook. Worse, people tend… Read more »

Pastors and Divorce: The Reality

This isn’t an easy post. Some fallen pastors who have committed adultery end up with the woman they commit adultery with. I was one. How should we approach the issue of fallen pastors and divorce? Let me share with you a couple of things before I start. The statistic is non-negotiable – 2% of marriages that are built on adultery… Read more »

What Are We To Think of “The Other Woman”?

I recently wrote a blog giving advice to “the other woman.” You know, the woman caught in adultery. The woman the pastor has an affair with. The mistress. But what should we think of “the other woman”? I’ve never liked any of those terms. I guess it’s because I was a pastor and married the woman I had an affair… Read more »