Lord, It’s Hard To Be Humble

Tweet I remember after my fall from the pastorate, it was a terrible four or five months there for a while. It was a situation that I created, but it was still awful. My mother had died in an accident the year before, I got caught in adultery, left the church, was living on my own, was getting some pretty… Read more »

How To Forgive a Fallen Pastor

Tweet Chances are if you’re reading this, your church has had a fallen pastor. The chances are even better that he left under tough circumstances. He was fired, left unrepentant, he was asked to quietly leave, or maybe it got real messy. I’ve been blogging here for over five years and I’ve seen it happen many different ways, but it’s… Read more »

Where Does Adultery Begin?

Tweet A pastor crosses many lines into the act of adultery. His mind wanders, he begins to lust in his heart, he crosses an emotional line and finally a physical line. All of these are acts of adultery. In the past five years I’ve talked to 500 men who have fallen and seen the various stages of breakdown. I’ve had… Read more »

4 Reasons Ministry Marriages Fail

Tweet When I tell regular church people that ministry marriages are often stressful and difficult, they find it hard to believe. Their disbelief extends even further when I tell the people in the pews that the most stressful issues between pastors and their wives is the ministry itself, they think I’m crazy. When I tell the same thing to most… Read more »

When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough

Tweet When we mess up and need forgiveness, one of the most frustrating things can be when people withhold that forgiveness. I’ve tried to outline some reasons people do that, but today I want to get into one of the really nasty things that can happen after someone grants a sort of half-hearted forgiveness. You know what I’m talking about. You’ve… Read more »

Fixing Our Own Problems is Elbow Licking

Tweet Stop what you’re doing and lick your elbow. Unless you’re driving, then pull to the side of the road, then lick your elbow. Oh,you’ve heard this one? Yeah, I heard it when I was six. I was really bored one day in first grade and my teacher didn’t like me much. She challenged me to lick my elbow. I… Read more »

Do We Expect Too Much Of Our Pastors?

Tweet A 2001 Barna study shared the following information: “Church-goers expect their pastor to juggle an average of 16 major tasks. That’s a recipe for failure – nobody can handle the wide range of responsibilities that people expect pastors to master.” That was one of the most interesting statistics I found while doing research for my book, Fallen Pastor: Finding… Read more »

“Can You Tell Me How To Commit Adultery?”

Tweet I love my ministry to fallen pastors. Not a week goes by that I don’t get an email from a man who has fallen and needs help. Whether it’s a man who has fallen from ministry, a church whose pastor who has fallen, the other woman, or a wife whose husband has fallen. I put everything I have into… Read more »

Can Facebook Ruin Your Marriage?

Tweet A few headlines caught my eye recently regarding Facebook and its role in marriage problems. The first article defined the problem of “phubbing.” This is where couples neglect one another for social media. According to the article, 46% of people complained that their significant other snubbed them for social media or their phone. The second was an article by Samantha Yule in… Read more »

Five Reasons People Don’t Forgive

Tweet I don’t know about you, but I mess up. A lot. And in my life, I’ve found myself asking for forgiveness more than once. But when I fell from ministry, it took me a while to get to a place where my heart was right enough to ask forgiveness in the right manner. I’d like to focus on why… Read more »